Thursday, December 16, 2010

Home again...

and it feels so good. Everyone keeps talking about how cold it is here, and I'm constantly like "jigga what? It's balmy and warm here psychos!" Anyway, I've fallen into a time warp and I'm back to this summer. Literally. I came back from the bar this evening (again time warp!) after work and my mom had washed and hung my work shirt in my room. Can I get a boo-yeah? I love the magical car full of gas, fridge full of food and laundry that magically cleans itself. Can I stay here?

I'm back to work, which is typically full of ups and downs. I literally threw a menu at a customer tonight. He was being a prick and deserved it, but still I threw a menu at him. Not going to lie, I felt better afterwards. Remarkably, he left me a $2 tip on $25, hmm I wonder why? Other than the assholes, it's nice being back at work. And tips are luuurvely.

So yeah, I'm back briefly. I am considering extending my stay here, but I'm not sure if I'll do any work in this lovely, fun environment. Meanwhile I'm enjoying the compliments (I missed my regulars at work and their love), sun, family, and my big brown dog. Oh, and proper cocktails. God bless the USA.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

One of those days....

It's one of those days. You know the really shitty ones, where you feel really shitty and you feel like throwing things at the world for being such a shitty inhospitable place. Yup. That's today.

I'm trying to stay positive and stick it out until I leave for America on Monday. It sucks.

Anyway, so I was watching Sex and the City (why yes I have become a cliche, deal with it) and it was the episode where Aiden moves out and she faces losing her apartment. To put it mildly, I could totally relate.

It brought me to really thinking about home, and the idea of home. I felt really at home here when Dom and I lived together, to the point that I cried when I landed in Manchester in November. But, now that he's decided to be an *insert expletive here* I'm feeling really discombobulated.

The fact of the matter is- I have to stay in the UK. At least until 2012 when I graduate and become a master. I like to consider myself to be becoming "the master," but that's another point entirely. So, essentially, this is my home now. I've lived a lot of places (at least 19 from a quick count) and I've felt at home in many of those places. Some, not so much. So, what is home then to me? I'm from the Bay Area, lived a big chunk of my 20's in Fresno and now I live in the UK. Home is home (mom's house) but it's here too. I did love it here until my world came crashing down, which leads me to believe I'll love it again. So then will I feel at home? Am I so fickle that I only feel at home when I'm happy? That's pretty damn shallow if that's the truth.

Excuse the crazy, it keeps popping up even when I try to keep it down. It'll be gone soon.

I go 'home' Monday. I'm thrilled to bits. I go back to my old job for a few weeks (oh how I miss tips) and I get to be pampered by mommy. My sister will drive me crazy and the fat dog will try and sit on my lap. I'm going to eat my weight in Mexican Food, Sushi and American food in general. Vanessa and I will drink at the Black Watch and I'll moan about not wanting to go to work. It's going to be amazing. And then I'll come back to my home here. Maybe that will be amazing too?

Friday, December 3, 2010

To go out or not to go out....

I feel I ought to go out tonight, as this party girl knows her party panties are growing mold. But, bollocks this weather SUCKS! It's a foot of snow outside and I know I can't wear cute shoes. Ugh, I'm being a whiner I know it- but this weather blows! I can't wait to go home and drive a car in non-snowy weather, wear high heels to the bar and schmooze it up with my friends. Maybe I'll just put my liver on hold until then.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Good times and bad times...

I haven't posted here in a long time. Le sigh, I wish I had posted during the happy-go-lucky time of when I first moved to the UK. Things have been rough lately, my mom was really sick and I had to quickly fly back home to the States to be with her. She's better now, and here's hoping she continues to improve. Sometimes things aren't puppies and sunshine. Sometimes things are really fucking hard. If I've learned anything in my 29 years, it's that things get better. Eventually.

So, for now I'm focusing on my mom improving. I have great friends. It's Thanksgiving week and there is a helluva lot to be thankful for. It'll get better.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Space Bags are...

... the cat's pajamas. The dog's bollocks. The porcupines pinafore. The ferret's frock. Ok, ok I'll stop. But, seriously dude- they're totally awesome. Yes, I just said dude, totally and awesome in the same sentence. I watch a lot of bad reality TV, so sue me. Anyway, these space gizmos are going to enable me to pack a LOT more clothes than I thought I'd be able to. Always good news for a little clothes horse like me.

I'm 70% packed as of this point. I can hear you dying of excitement at this news, but heck it's exciting for me. Currently, I feel like I hear the word exciting 100 times a day. And here's why: my lovely friend Vanessa also works in a restaurant, and she advised me to tell everyone that I'm leaving for grad school in a foreign country at the end of the week. Her *very smart* opinion was that it will increase my tips by quite a bit. And she's totally right. Here's a typical conversation between me and a customer at work. Usually, while I'm giving them their bill they'll bring up next time they'll be in or something of the sort.

Me: "Oh bummer dude, next time you come in I won't be here anymore. Saturday is my last day, because I'm moving."
Customer- "Really? Where are you moving?"
Me: "Actually, I'm moving to the UK."
Customer: "Wow, the UK! Oh my goodness, how exciting!"
Me: "Yes, yes I'm very excited."
Customer: "Well that's just great. Why?"
Me: "I'm going to Graduate School there."
Customer: "Grad School, what for? That's so exciting!"
Me: "Theatre. Yes, yes thank you I'm very excited."
And so on. The word exciting might come up 6 more times.

Then they tip me double what they would have and go about their merry way. I literally have this conversation 20 times a day. Even my regulars who've known for the past couple of weeks talk about how "excited" they are for me. It's kinda cool. It's kinda daunting.

I'm really excited. :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Seven more days...

...Until I leave for Europe. Eeeps. This is "get shit actually done and don't spend all the time you're not working laying in the sun and shopping" week. I won't bore you with the mundane details of what needs to get done, just know that it's all the boring crap I don't want to do or it would be done already. Yuck. Oh, and my lovely job scheduled me every night until I leave- except tomorrow. So, guess who will be slinging martini's on her last night in the US?

Unless of course, I storm out of the restaurant in fury before then. You see, one of the "managers" has taken to harassing me because Jersey Shore bitch from the previous blog is her bff. Le sigh. Hopefully she won't push me over the edge before I leave, because I actually like and respect the other managers, and would hate to put them in a crappy situation. Also, if I can stick it out- I win. She tried to fire me tonight, but she had to consult with another manager and they wouldn't allow it. I think her main beef with me, (and the other staff agrees) is that I'm bubbly and I'm always walking around laughing or with a smile on my face. Yes, I know that's easy for me to do because I leave soon, but I'm pretty much cheerful in general. I may be a total worrier, but I do it with a smile.

Anyway, enough work talk. I started packing last night. Um, if you know me at all, you know I have an eensy shopping problem. And, I sorta like boots. A lot. I've decided to only take two suitcases and a carry on, and only ship stuff if necessary. :( It's hard. But, it makes me feel kinda footloose and fancy free. I can pare my life down to three bags. I'm totally zen.

Friday, August 27, 2010

All work and no play...

I suppose that's a major exaggeration, because while I am on Day Six of Seven days straight working- we all know that I prioritize going out over less important things like sleep, or proper liver function. Anyway, I was supposed to have tonight and tomorrow off, but the other bartender went all Jersey Shore on me last night, and then stormed out like a bratty child- so I'm stuck working her Thursday and Friday. Le sigh.

This did however enable me to have Saturday off (gotta love California labour laws- suck it work), which I intend to spend in San Francisco shopping and dining with Rico. And drinking fruity cocktails in fruity bars. Boo yeah.

Today, Dominic said something that really made me think. I was moaning about having to hand in my notice tomorrow, and how I feel guilty about it, and blah blah blah. I'm guessing I'll work six days a week for my last two weeks, and Dom said that I'm sorta wasting my time working so much during my last couple of weeks in the U.S. And he's right. I'm missing out on opportunities to see friends, spend time with my family, and consume lots of Sushi and Mexican cuisine. So, I'm going to try to finagle it so that I only work eight or nine more days. We'll see how that goes.

It's been a long week, so I'm going to put my feet up in front of the TV and watch Top Chef with a cold Sweet Piece of Jesus. I totally Macgyvered myself a cocktail shaker, and now I feel smug and clever. Clearly, I'm easily pleased.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'll miss you...

I'm going through a bit of a rough patch. I know this is Karaazzy as I'm moving forward and onto a fabulous life in the UK, but things are in a bit of a turmoil in my wee little brain right now. I just got settled here. I have a job, new friends, people know me at the cafe and the grocery store, and I'm a regular at my local.

Now, I get to start all over. Ugh. It's amazing and it sucks. I'm starting to say my goodbyes and frankly, it's fucking awful. Part of me wants to savour these last 20 something days, and part of me just wishes they were over and I were on the plane. I know that really it's a "see you soon," and not a "goodbye"- but there's a fine, fine line- if you like musical theatre and you know what I mean. It's sucky/amazing and my head is totally spinning.

I don't know what the future holds. How long will I be in the UK? When besides Christmas will I be back? I'm so excited and freaked out, it's unreal. I've even lost my appetite, which sucks because I was going to consume as much sushi and Mexican food in the next 22 days possible. I guess I'll just have to live with the memory. And, I'll be home soon. Or soonish.

I keep saying things to Dom like "When I visit," or "On Vacation'" and then I realize I'm not visiting. I won't be on vacation. Wow. I'm moving to England. Hopefully, it will sink in soon.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It's so surreal...

...My visa arrived in the mail today. I booked my ticket and I leave for England in 26 days. This whole process has gone so smoothly, and I have totally sweated it the entire time. So, let this be a lesson to future Sarah- dude, chill out.

Today, I've been thinking a lot about things I'm going to miss and things I'm looking forward to. So here's a list of both, because I can hear you dying in anticipation.

Things I'll miss-
My family and friends
Jackson the Wonder Dog
Proper Sushi
Queso available everywhere
Getting lots of ice
Cheap, strong cocktails
Peet's Coffee
Mexican Restaurants
People saying "Have a nice day"
Sunshine 80% of the time
Downtown Los Gatos
Nordstrom, Sephora and DSW
The trashy TV shows I watch like Teen Mom
24 hour stores (although I think the Asda near us is 24 hour- so this may be wrong)
Lots of closet space

Things I'm Looking Forward To-
Seeing all my old friends and making new ones
Fish and Chips and Mushy Peas
Oh! and Nando's
Primark (Yep, I just said Primark)
Being able to wear boots most of the year
Experiencing a different culture
Inexpensive dance classes
Mussels at Cafe Rouge
Decent Public Transport
Kate Nash in October
Starting school- I'm a wee bit nervous, like should I wear a backpack?
Traveling in Europe
Sunday Crossword at the pub
Pubs in general
My first Thanksgiving abroad
Yummy Indian food

That's all for now. I'm going to go get ready to get a proper cocktail with a friend. I have to soak up as much of the things I'm going to miss while I can.

Can you believe it? I'm moving to another country. Crazy.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

To Ballet or to Bollywood...

...I'm kinda happy right now. Even though I miss the boy, and I'm stressed about my visa- I have 2 days IN A ROW off! Wahoo! Spring Break! (To temper the excitement, I keep reminding myself that it's fairly certain I'll pick up a shift Thursday- dum-de-dum-dum) The best part is that my biggest concern for tomorrow is whether to take Ballet or Bollywood Dance. I'm guessing I'll go with Bollywood Dance because I'm cheap like that (Ballet= $15, Bollywood=Free) , but we'll see how I feel in the morning. I have a fleeting dream that I wake up to an email from the British Embassy saying my visa is issued and I go to Ballet, saving the evening for celebrating with either Mexican food or Sushi. Ah, dreams.

It's been a tiring couple of weeks. I've worked 13 of the last 14 days, and after tomorrow I'll probably do another 6 or 7 straight. I like my co-workers a lot fortunately, and many of the customers make me enjoy my job. But, it's tiring, dirty work. I want to go to Graduate School, not shake Martinis. (Unless they're for me, of course) Hopefully, the visa Gods will smile at me tomorrow.

Monday, August 9, 2010

A life lesson for folks...

...because clearly it's sorely needed. Here's the thing- people need to be trained on how to behave/eat in a restaurant. Cause some of y'all are rude as fuck. Just saying. Here's a list that I may add to in the future.

1. Never snap your fingers at another human. Do you really think the service is going to improve by treating me like your dog? I also have now realized that since you were raised with wolves, you're going to be a shitty tipper. No need for me to go out of my way then anyhow.

2. If your server tells you that a pizza takes 20-25 minutes to prepare, please believe them. Don't frantically wave at them and ask when your food will be out. There's. Nothing. We. Can. Do. Even if you are going to the opera, or your kids recital- I cannot magick your pizza out of thin air. Sorry.

3. Please don't come in during Happy Hour on a Friday and expect me to be able to make you five different blended drinks in less than a few minutes. Chances are, it just won't happen. If you want a smoothie, Jamba Juice is across the street. If all five of you want a margarita in a different flavor, prepare to wait. And please tip well, otherwise I will give you a look of disdain.

4. Bartenders/Servers are not magical. If you want water, or a straw, or another drink- I have to actually go and get it. It doesn't just appear out of thin air.

5. If you order drinks and then don't tip your server *at least* ten percent. YOU ARE COSTING THEM MONEY you selfish jerk. Servers have to tip out the bartender ten percent. Keep this in mind.

6. How to get a drink at a busy bar *first*: Be a regular. Wait patiently. Tip well. I see you drumming your credit card impatiently on the counter. You're last. Waving your empty glass at me is not the way to get my attention. It's rude. Bartenders take care of good customers that take care of them. Bottom line.

7. If the kitchen makes a mistake, or you hate your food- it is not my fault. Berating me will not fix the problem, it's a waste of time. And nice people are the first ones I'm going to try to get food comped for. Rude people can talk to the manager.

8. Don't talk down to your server. Chances are they're better educated than you are, and just because they forgot your ranch dressing doesn't make them a moron.

9. If something is free- like bread or chips, and you consume more than 2 baskets- factor that into your decision making process when tipping. Me getting 6 baskets of bread and butter for a two top is a MAJOR inconvenience.

10. If you're in a hurry, have a coupon, or special crazy dietary needs please tell me. While I may secretly loathe you, I don't read minds and I can't help you if I don't know.

11. It really isn't that hard to be polite. Please try. You'll get better service that way too.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sorry, I haven't recently posted on this bad boy. I would say that I'm exceptionally busy and yadda yadda yadda, but the truth is that I'm just totally lazy. Go figure. Also, I hate to bore people with a blog posting that talks about my dog, or what I had for lunch, or what Journey song I learned on the guitar this week. I try and spare y'all.

That being said- there are some new and unique goings on in my life. I guess the biggest thing is that I applied for my Student Visa today. Finally! It's the last phase of this process for me to worry and fret over, so I can't wait until a month or so from now- when *hopefully* I'll have an official move date and all that jazz. I can't wait to buy a plane ticket and start packing. I feel like this is completely the right path for me. Essentially, all I have to do now is look hottt on Thursday to get my Passport photos taken. I learned my lesson from last time. And since I'm so helpful and stuff I'll give you my tips on how not to look shit in your passport photo. Many of these are counterintuitive, but I'm a blonde and I somehow missed all this the last time.

1. Don't wear a patterned hot pink, black and orange shirt. It ain't like your driver's license. It'll show, and you'll feel totally conspicuous and American every time you travel. As an aside, maybe never wear a patterned hot pink, black and orange shirt. Ever. What was I thinking?
2. Brushing your hair is a good idea. If you always tuck it behind your ear it may be best to just take the photo that way, as opposed to having a huge kink on one side of your head.
3. A natural color lipstick never hurt anyone. It shows that you indeed have lips, as opposed to a crease in the middle of your chin.
4. In that respect, a little blush never killed anyone. Don't go all Mimi from The Drew Carey Show all over your business, but it's best to look like you have a pulse.
5. Chin straight at the camera, and don't try to get a facebook angle in the photo. They won't let you and then you'll just look like a numbskull who doesn't know how to hold their head in a natural way.

With those words of wisdom, I'll get back to important stuff like watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV. I mean, reading Shakespeare. Yeah, that's it. Shakespeare.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Ummm, I need a tech-savvy person...

Because I'm not yet sure how to post multiple photos. I guess the next time my sister comes around she can show me the ways, because google was rubbish with advice.

I haven't posted lately because my life isn't all that interesting at the moment. I'm essentially playing the waiting game. I'm waiting for Obama's whole new student loan hoopla to be figured out so I can apply for my student loans, and then my visa, and then book a flight. I'm also looking for a temporary job and watching crappy reality TV. Did anyone else think The Real Housewives of New York reunion was ca-razy with a capital K? Seriously, I love those bitches for giving me a little extra entertainment.

Worst news of the week? They closed my favorite running trail. It's the photo below, however I was too dumb to figure out how to make all these things coexist so I just fired up OnDemand and watched The Real Housewives of NY again. Cause I'm classy like that. Anyway, I digress. So, that photo is where I *was* running every day. But, the Town of Los Gatos has closed my most favorite trail until July frickin' 30th. The trail next to it is okay, it just gets ridiculous amounts of mosquitoes and is next to a sheer cliff which my clumsy ass is bound to fall down someday. Win some, lose some.

Best news of the week? I found (well I'll give credit where credit is due, my lovely sister forwarded me the link) a great job teaching inner city kids about the arts for a few weeks in July. And, they hired me! So, I'm a little employed. Which is good.

Well y'all until my next exciting piece, I wish you well.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Monday, June 7, 2010

Bored people are totally boring...

When I was a little girl- if I ever complained that I was "bored" my great grandma (who was about 123 years old and 77 pounds of pure ferocity) would snap at me "Bored people are boring!" Then she'd throw a quarter at me and tell me to save it for college. Well Great Granny Oelrich- I AM BORED!

I've only been living at home for a few days, and while my family is ridiculously amazing (um seriously, I got in my car yesterday and it was magically full of gas)- I am soooo bored.

I have nothing to worry about, nothing dire to do, nowhere pressing to go and it's fricking killing me. I know I'll find a summer job. I'll get my student loans and visa easy peasy. I live in a comfortable house with plenty of food, cable, lovely company, a sweet dog, and a town library that has all the True Blood DVD's. I really need to quit bitching. Ugh, I'm even annoying myself.

Friday, June 4, 2010

But instead I live at home...

I'm Sarah. I like to use ellipses a lot... I can't spell very well, but I try to remedy that with google and ye olde fashioned spell check.. This blog was created to make fun of my sister. Well, sorta...

You see we were in the car, and my sister is quite possibly the worst driver in the world. I think our family dog Jackson drives better than her. She actually changes lanes and then looks over her shoulder, but I digress. Anyway, I was making fun of her wretched driving skills and her in general, when the topic of blogs come up. Me (sweet, genteel, much younger sister) "I think I'm going to start a blog about living at home for the first time in ten years while I prepare to move to the UK." Her (rude, much, much older sister) "Oh, yeah I'm starting a blog too. It's going to be called "I hate my sister." Me "Ha- I already created a blog called "I hate my *much older sister* more." All I can say is moted.

So, yeah. I live at home now in the South Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. I used to live in my own apartment in Fresno, and frankly I'm not sure which is worse. (wokkka wokka wokka) (Oh, and I like parentheses too...) My blog is named for The Office, (American) and I really do want to live with Dwight on his beet farm. Duh, who wouldn't? It's me and my mom and a really fat dog named Jackson, who used to be my dog but he's lived here for a few years and has totally defected. Disloyal bastard. My *much, much older* sister lives about 10 miles away and spends a lot of time here eating my food and being a pain in the butt. Okay, I'll be serious for a minute- she's actually really fabulous, and my best friend- but don't tell her or she'll get all cocky. So, there it is. Oh, and I'm moving to the UK for grad school in like ten minutes (or 3 months, but it seems short) and I'm totally going to miss Velveeta. And my family. So, I guess this whole living at home-for-now thing is a good idea. Right?