Sorry, I haven't recently posted on this bad boy. I would say that I'm exceptionally busy and yadda yadda yadda, but the truth is that I'm just totally lazy. Go figure. Also, I hate to bore people with a blog posting that talks about my dog, or what I had for lunch, or what Journey song I learned on the guitar this week. I try and spare y'all.

That being said- there are some new and unique goings on in my life. I guess the biggest thing is that I applied for my Student Visa today. Finally! It's the last phase of this process for me to worry and fret over, so I can't wait until a month or so from now- when *hopefully* I'll have an official move date and all that jazz. I can't wait to buy a plane ticket and start packing. I feel like this is completely the right path for me. Essentially, all I have to do now is look hottt on Thursday to get my Passport photos taken. I learned my lesson from last time. And since I'm so helpful and stuff I'll give you my tips on how not to look shit in your passport photo. Many of these are counterintuitive, but I'm a blonde and I somehow missed all this the last time.

1. Don't wear a patterned hot pink, black and orange shirt. It ain't like your driver's license. It'll show, and you'll feel totally conspicuous and American every time you travel. As an aside, maybe never wear a patterned hot pink, black and orange shirt. Ever. What was I thinking?

2. Brushing your hair is a good idea. If you always tuck it behind your ear it may be best to just take the photo that way, as opposed to having a huge kink on one side of your head.

3. A natural color lipstick never hurt anyone. It shows that you indeed have lips, as opposed to a crease in the middle of your chin.

4. In that respect, a little blush never killed anyone. Don't go all Mimi from The Drew Carey Show all over your business, but it's best to look like you have a pulse.

5. Chin straight at the camera, and don't try to get a facebook angle in the photo. They won't let you and then you'll just look like a numbskull who doesn't know how to hold their head in a natural way.

With those words of wisdom, I'll get back to important stuff like watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV. I mean, reading Shakespeare. Yeah, that's it. Shakespeare.

Ummm, I need a tech-savvy person...

Because I'm not yet sure how to post multiple photos. I guess the next time my sister comes around she can show me the ways, because google was rubbish with advice.

I haven't posted lately because my life isn't all that interesting at the moment. I'm essentially playing the waiting game. I'm waiting for Obama's whole new student loan hoopla to be figured out so I can apply for my student loans, and then my visa, and then book a flight. I'm also looking for a temporary job and watching crappy reality TV. Did anyone else think The Real Housewives of New York reunion was ca-razy with a capital K? Seriously, I love those bitches for giving me a little extra entertainment.

Worst news of the week? They closed my favorite running trail. It's the photo below, however I was too dumb to figure out how to make all these things coexist so I just fired up OnDemand and watched The Real Housewives of NY again. Cause I'm classy like that. Anyway, I digress. So, that photo is where I *was* running every day. But, the Town of Los Gatos has closed my most favorite trail until July frickin' 30th. The trail next to it is okay, it just gets ridiculous amounts of mosquitoes and is next to a sheer cliff which my clumsy ass is bound to fall down someday. Win some, lose some.

Best news of the week? I found (well I'll give credit where credit is due, my lovely sister forwarded me the link) a great job teaching inner city kids about the arts for a few weeks in July. And, they hired me! So, I'm a little employed. Which is good.

Well y'all until my next exciting piece, I wish you well.

Bored people are totally boring...

When I was a little girl- if I ever complained that I was "bored" my great grandma (who was about 123 years old and 77 pounds of pure ferocity) would snap at me "Bored people are boring!" Then she'd throw a quarter at me and tell me to save it for college. Well Great Granny Oelrich- I AM BORED!

I've only been living at home for a few days, and while my family is ridiculously amazing (um seriously, I got in my car yesterday and it was magically full of gas)- I am soooo bored.

I have nothing to worry about, nothing dire to do, nowhere pressing to go and it's fricking killing me. I know I'll find a summer job. I'll get my student loans and visa easy peasy. I live in a comfortable house with plenty of food, cable, lovely company, a sweet dog, and a town library that has all the True Blood DVD's. I really need to quit bitching. Ugh, I'm even annoying myself.

But instead I live at home...

I'm Sarah. I like to use ellipses a lot... I can't spell very well, but I try to remedy that with google and ye olde fashioned spell check.. This blog was created to make fun of my sister. Well, sorta...

You see we were in the car, and my sister is quite possibly the worst driver in the world. I think our family dog Jackson drives better than her. She actually changes lanes and then looks over her shoulder, but I digress. Anyway, I was making fun of her wretched driving skills and her in general, when the topic of blogs come up. Me (sweet, genteel, much younger sister) "I think I'm going to start a blog about living at home for the first time in ten years while I prepare to move to the UK." Her (rude, much, much older sister) "Oh, yeah I'm starting a blog too. It's going to be called "I hate my sister." Me "Ha- I already created a blog called "I hate my *much older sister* more." All I can say is moted.

So, yeah. I live at home now in the South Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. I used to live in my own apartment in Fresno, and frankly I'm not sure which is worse. (wokkka wokka wokka) (Oh, and I like parentheses too...) My blog is named for The Office, (American) and I really do want to live with Dwight on his beet farm. Duh, who wouldn't? It's me and my mom and a really fat dog named Jackson, who used to be my dog but he's lived here for a few years and has totally defected. Disloyal bastard. My *much, much older* sister lives about 10 miles away and spends a lot of time here eating my food and being a pain in the butt. Okay, I'll be serious for a minute- she's actually really fabulous, and my best friend- but don't tell her or she'll get all cocky. So, there it is. Oh, and I'm moving to the UK for grad school in like ten minutes (or 3 months, but it seems short) and I'm totally going to miss Velveeta. And my family. So, I guess this whole living at home-for-now thing is a good idea. Right?