Home again...

and it feels so good. Everyone keeps talking about how cold it is here, and I'm constantly like "jigga what? It's balmy and warm here psychos!" Anyway, I've fallen into a time warp and I'm back to this summer. Literally. I came back from the bar this evening (again time warp!) after work and my mom had washed and hung my work shirt in my room. Can I get a boo-yeah? I love the magical car full of gas, fridge full of food and laundry that magically cleans itself. Can I stay here?

I'm back to work, which is typically full of ups and downs. I literally threw a menu at a customer tonight. He was being a prick and deserved it, but still I threw a menu at him. Not going to lie, I felt better afterwards. Remarkably, he left me a $2 tip on $25, hmm I wonder why? Other than the assholes, it's nice being back at work. And tips are luuurvely.

So yeah, I'm back briefly. I am considering extending my stay here, but I'm not sure if I'll do any work in this lovely, fun environment. Meanwhile I'm enjoying the compliments (I missed my regulars at work and their love), sun, family, and my big brown dog. Oh, and proper cocktails. God bless the USA.

One of those days....

It's one of those days. You know the really shitty ones, where you feel really shitty and you feel like throwing things at the world for being such a shitty inhospitable place. Yup. That's today.

I'm trying to stay positive and stick it out until I leave for America on Monday. It sucks.

Anyway, so I was watching Sex and the City (why yes I have become a cliche, deal with it) and it was the episode where Aiden moves out and she faces losing her apartment. To put it mildly, I could totally relate.

It brought me to really thinking about home, and the idea of home. I felt really at home here when Dom and I lived together, to the point that I cried when I landed in Manchester in November. But, now that he's decided to be an *insert expletive here* I'm feeling really discombobulated.

The fact of the matter is- I have to stay in the UK. At least until 2012 when I graduate and become a master. I like to consider myself to be becoming "the master," but that's another point entirely. So, essentially, this is my home now. I've lived a lot of places (at least 19 from a quick count) and I've felt at home in many of those places. Some, not so much. So, what is home then to me? I'm from the Bay Area, lived a big chunk of my 20's in Fresno and now I live in the UK. Home is home (mom's house) but it's here too. I did love it here until my world came crashing down, which leads me to believe I'll love it again. So then will I feel at home? Am I so fickle that I only feel at home when I'm happy? That's pretty damn shallow if that's the truth.

Excuse the crazy, it keeps popping up even when I try to keep it down. It'll be gone soon.

I go 'home' Monday. I'm thrilled to bits. I go back to my old job for a few weeks (oh how I miss tips) and I get to be pampered by mommy. My sister will drive me crazy and the fat dog will try and sit on my lap. I'm going to eat my weight in Mexican Food, Sushi and American food in general. Vanessa and I will drink at the Black Watch and I'll moan about not wanting to go to work. It's going to be amazing. And then I'll come back to my home here. Maybe that will be amazing too?

To go out or not to go out....

I feel I ought to go out tonight, as this party girl knows her party panties are growing mold. But, bollocks this weather SUCKS! It's a foot of snow outside and I know I can't wear cute shoes. Ugh, I'm being a whiner I know it- but this weather blows! I can't wait to go home and drive a car in non-snowy weather, wear high heels to the bar and schmooze it up with my friends. Maybe I'll just put my liver on hold until then.

Nah.